I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
So much rum. So many feels.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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