Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
