Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
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