either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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