hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
