does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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