he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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