Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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