I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
