Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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