maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize