apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
