it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
