singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
