you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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