the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
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