It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
