I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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