so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
