I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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