you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
