So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
