5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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