had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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