I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
