You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
