You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
