everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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