I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
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