I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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