I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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