why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
