just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
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