only if we run a train.
done.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
