in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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