we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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