k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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