i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
