Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize