I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
