i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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