you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I want a musical about memes.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
