I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
