morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize