my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
only you would photoshop your dick
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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