all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
