I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
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