The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
