My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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