You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
