I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
