he wants to bone in the snuggie
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
