yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
