Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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