He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Randomize
