sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
