Kiss
Puke
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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