fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
someone threw a dead crab at me
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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