We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
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