Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
